She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
