sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
