You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
