so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
