guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
