So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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