We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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