idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize