Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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