Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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