I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
