It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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