Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
