His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
