why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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