Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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