Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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