hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
