CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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