I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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