I wannas sexs uuuuu
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
