my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
