can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
