come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
