ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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