I cannot find my penis.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
