You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i drank out of a bidet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
