I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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