can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
