I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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