saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
