But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
