Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pooping to opera.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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