cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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