Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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