If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
