the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
