you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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