Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
