It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
