hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm bleeding and have questions
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
