There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We talked him into tasing himself.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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