No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
