that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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