Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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