just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
