how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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