I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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