She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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