I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
