dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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