There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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