My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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