You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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