It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
two words: eviction party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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