It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize