Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
