so explain again why im purple
no
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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