Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
