i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
